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Motivational Monday-Rescued!

At nineteen years old, I found myself sitting in a church for my friend’s baptism. I was not a churchgoer, nor a devout believer in God, but God had convinced me three years prior that He existed.

At sixteen years of age, I was already tired of living; I found little pleasure in my current life and wanted out. The only thing that kept me in check was my fear of maiming myself and still being alive instead of actually dying. My boyfriend had already attempted suicide and failed. I did not believe in God, and my friends who said they did not believe in God publicly professed to worship satan. I had been reared in a Christian home and thus reasoned: satan[1] (lucifer) came from God[2] and if there isn’t a God than there isn’t a satan. But if there is a satan than there must be a God and why would anyone want to worship the lesser of the two powers? So, I never participated in their “worship”.

A few days before the end of the school year, I was so fed-up with life that I wrote the last entry in my journal. I did not have any respect for God, and my language was not appropriate, but the gist of what I wrote was, “I don’t know if God exists, but if You do, get me out of this hell I am living, and I will know you exist, and I will search for You.”

Among the worst things going wrong in my life at the time was continual sexual abuse that I had endured since I was nine years old. My parents knew nothing about it and nearly every weekend I was at the house of my abuser. Now I was determined to either find a better way within two weeks or end it all. I literally stapled the journal shut after my plea for help. I would not write any more, either God would rescue me or that was my last entry forever.

Within a week, through a series of incredible events, that I now refer to as miracles, I was completely removed from my current situation and transplanted six hundred miles away from my abuser. God had done exactly what I had asked Him to do! But although life was much better, I did not follow through with my end of the deal, which was to search for God.

Now, three year later, as I sat in a church for my friend’s baptism, this was brought vividly to my mind. I was not interested in church; I was there strictly because my friend asked me to be. I was ready to bolt as soon as she was dunked. But I was on God’s ground, and He began to talk to me.

In my mind’s eye He took me to the cross. There I saw Jesus hanging on the cross with His arms stretched out. I looked up at Him with pity. Why would anyone do such a thing for someone else, I questioned in my mind, it seemed all quite unnecessarily ridiculous. But when He spoke to me, my heart skipped a beat. “Dana, would you like your sins to be forgiven?” With His voice so tender and kind, who could resist? “Uhm, yes,” I replied and amazingly began to relax for a brief moment, until He spoke again, “Forgive as I have forgiven you.” Say what? There is no way, there is NO WAY. Again, I was ready to bolt but I couldn’t leave. In my mind’s eye, I was stuck; I couldn’t run. I couldn’t stay. I hung my head. I finally broke the silence of my mind’s thinking, “He doesn’t deserve it,” I paused, then added as I looked up, “I can’t, I can’t.” Then like sweet music I heard, “That’s right, Dana, you can’t, but I can. Will you let Me?”

Wow, Jesus wanted to do for me what I was completely powerless to do. He wanted to take my burden literally away from me. While I was powerless and helpless to do what He asked me to do, He would take the responsibility to do it for me. I was so heavy laden with guilt, remorse, hate and bitterness, it hung like a black cloud over me. If it were possible to give these up, I was ready to hand them over, “Yes, You can do it!”

Instantaneously, I was transformed. It was indeed a miracle; I entered that church a wretched, miserable person loaded down with unforgiveness that was crushing the life out of me and I left a follower and missionary for Jesus singing, “Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see.” My burden was lifted at Calvary and for the first time in years, happiness belonged to me!

Days are filled with sorrow and care,

Hearts are lonely and drear;

Burdens are lifted at Calvary

Jesus is very near.

Cast your care on Jesus today.

Leave your worry and fear.

Burdens are lifted at Calvary,

Jesus is very near.

Troubled soul, the Saviour can see

Every heartache and tear;

Burdens are lifted at Calvary,

Jesus is very near.

~John Moore~

Jesus took total responsibility for my unforgiveness, and my life has been forever changed. He did for me what I could not do for myself, and He can do for you what you cannot do for yourself.

“Forgive our sins as we forgive,”

You taught us, Lord, to pray;

But You alone can grant us grace

To live the words we say.

How can Your pardon reach

and bless the unforgiving heart

That broods on wrongs and will not let

old bitterness depart?

In blazing light Your cross reveals

The truth we dimly know:

How trifling others’ debts to us;

How great our debt to You!

Lord, cleanse the depths within our souls

And bid resentment cease;

Then, by Your mercy reconciled,

Our lives will spread Your peace.

~Rosamond E. Herklots~

Jesus came that He might fulfill the prophecy spoken by Isaiah, “Himself took our infirmities, and bore our sicknesses.”[3] He says, “Come unto Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest for your soul. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.”[4]

Jesus wants to do for you what you cannot do for yourself. Will you let Him do it?

This is an excerpt from my book Sunny Dawn Reflections. For any donation of $25 or more I will send you a PDF of Sunny Dawn Reflections. Your donation will go towards the cost of publishing Sunny Dawn Reflection.

References: [1] I refuse to capitalize our archenemy’s title; this and following references to him are not typos. [2] See Revelation 12, Ezekiel 29, Isaiah 14. [3] Matthew 8:17 (see also Isaiah 53:5) [4] Matthew 11:28-30


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